Honey I wrecked the kids!

For many years now this saying has gone through my mind. It started bad after I had little Miss Ella and I was sure I was ruining my beautiful 3 year old. The thought was so bad that I had to start in support groups for PPD. It had actually consumed my daily being and I didn't realize that I wasn't ruining my son, that I was just not recognizing all the good things throughout my day. I was being really hard on myself and after days, weeks and months like this I was not able to see anything else. Thanks to much needed help I realized that they were okay, that I didn't wreck them for the rest of their lives and that we would all be okay. Well I am not perfect and still have times when life gets crazy, I spend too much time focused on my business, etc. and I feel like I may have just had one of those days. I was actually having one of those weeks after coming back from a much needed, not long enough to regroup vacation. I have been working hard to catch up on Grace Announcements stuff and everything else is getting ignored.

Well a great friend called me up and asked if I wanted to come with her to this speaking engagement the following night, by Alyson Schafer about her new book "Honey, I Wrecked the Kids". I knew at that moment that I HAD to go, and lucky me I was now. Wow what a night! Alyson was a great speaker, and I spent most of the 2 hours engaged in every word she spoke. I left energized and ready to take on my kids. I am reading the book to get even more insight into my two, and how best to deal with them. Alyson is a great writer and her style has great humor with many real life examples. One of the biggest things that I took from that evening was something that I have been hearing for a little while now - don't change them, change the way YOU deal with them. Here is a little of what Alyson has to say about the book:

"Honey, I Wrecked the Kids is a book for parents who have tried every parenting trick in the book but nothing seems to be working. In fact, you're pretty sure they are making matters worse! Just as antibiotics created super bugs, old parenting methods have created the discipline-resistant child, and parents are not prepared.

In the book, I give detailed instructions for implementing a new style of parenting for the 21st century kid. The democratic approach is both firm and friendly. It respects the child’s dignity and rights while ensuring the same for parents. It should not be confused with permissive parenting, but all too often, it is.

Unique from other parenting literature, Honey I Wrecked the Kids gives readers a simple method for diagnosing the four root causes of misbehavior applicable to every parenting situation. Once parents learns to understand their child’s motivation and goals, their new democratic parenting tools can be applied with great success."

Alyson has another book which I want to buy when my local bookstore has it in stock. Breaking the Good Mom Myth - Every modern mom's guide to getting past perfection, regaining sanity, and raising great kids.

Maybe these two books will show me that I am actually a good mother and I should stop being so hard on myself.