Today should be a perfect day, I should be productive and take advantage of the fact that both of my kids are on a field trip with school and are gone all day. I should be working my butt off to get through my long to do list without any interruptions, but instead I sit here feeling guilty about how much I seem to be working right now.
I love working, I love designing, I love dealing with people, I love being busy. So why am I having such a hard time with it all. I feel guilty that I am not spending as much time as I think I should with my kids.
I think about what it would be like if I was just a stay at home mom like many of my friends. Where my kids could be signed up in all these programs that I take them to, where we have play dates and I take them to the park because it is a beautiful day. To be able to just have fun and not worry about the long list of things that I have to do, or worrying that I have to get a design off because I don't want to disappoint someone.
I am too much of a people pleaser, I strive to make sure that my customers are all incredibly happy. Something that is lacking in today's society.
I work so hard to please those customers that I feel like I am letting down those really important to me.
How do I ever find the proper balance??? Is there really such a thing?
I feel guilty that my three year old daughter has started to realize that mommy works ALL THE TIME, and that she asks daddy things like "is mommy going to come downstairs today" or "can you please get mommy to pick me up from school". Even the teachers at my kids school have made mention to my husband about how they don't see me at all anymore. My son just knows where I am, he is about to turn 6 and he has been in this with me for the last 5 years. Sadly I think he has just come to accept this as the way things are.
I should have been going to the gym, but I didn't have the time.
I have a pile of laundry that needs to be folded and put away, but I don't have the time.
I want to organize my linen closets so I can actually find something I need, but I don't have the time.
..... is it that I don't have the time, or is it that I don't plan my time wisely.
How do you find a balance to do it all? How do you fellow mom entrepreneurs not feel such guilt over the neglect that you feel your kids get because you work so hard?
I know they are not neglected, my kids are very lucky to have all that they do. But I still feel that way some days. I know I am lucky to be able to be around them like I am. I don't leave for the office at 6am and get home at 8pm.
3 comments:
This is a constant struggle for many. Something has to give though or else you'll burn yourself out.
Some solutions? Hire a summer helper or babysitter even just for a couple of hours a day. Hire a cleaning lady twice a month. Make a schedule for "kids time" and stick to it, ie. in 1/2 hour slots. No calls, no email - so that they have your full attention. Then, when it's time to get back to work, they will be ready to move to something else too.
I hope this helps! After having a vacation with my kids, I realize that I must do this also, to keep my sanity!
It's so true, how do you find the balance. 2 kids, a house to tend to, a career, husband and all of the regular stuff that just comes with... LIFE. Are all of those so called 'Supermoms' actually doing it all and being balanced and happy while doing everything else? What's their secret, if there even is one?
Good idea about the "kids time" slots!
Yes I wonder if they have a secret or if there secret is they are in the same boat as me!
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