I think it is really not fair that there are people out there who lose weight when they are stressed... yes I know some of you are like that and right now I am not sure if we can still be friends!!
My husband is one of those people... he is unhappy with it. He works very hard at the gym to keep a certain physical look. We both way back when could eat whatever we want and not gain a pound. He had to work out at the gym hard core, I had to have kids... JERK!!!
I will be in the bathroom getting ready, looking at myself in the mirror and feeling horrible about myself when he comes in and starts complaining about how much weight he has lost and how hard it will be for him to put it back on.... blab... I start to tune him out because if not I worry I might punch him in the face. It is so not fair...
So as many of you know our life has been dealt its fair share of crap over the last 6 months. Life has been stressful is putting it mildly. I have been working my ass off (too bad not physically) and while I am sitting in front of my computer for 18+hours a day making money I am not being physically active. I am not riding my bike with the kids, I am not using my treadmill, I am certainly not at the gym since I cancelled that membership when things went to shit.
What has all of this done to me??? I have gained a freaking extra 10 to 15 pounds since last winter... I am back at my just delivered weight and I feel horrible. I look horrible...
My Lulu's cut my waist so much that by the end of the day I am hurting.
CRAP, #&%!, $@#%... how did I let this happen?
Why can't I be the person who loses weight when I am stressed? SO NOT FAIR!
So with a closet full of clothes that barely fit, a refusal to buy new ones, and Blissdom Canada in less then 2 months I am going to do something about this.
I am going to get my ass off this chair.
I am going to take a break from working during my day and get on my treadmill.
I am going to eat healthy.
I am going to try to avoid chocolate. (keyword being "TRY"!)
I am going to take care of myself for once in a long long time.
I am going to do all of this and NOT feel guilty about doing it.
Oh and to all of you "WTF Lindsay you look great" haters out there - I was 105lbs before I had kids. I don't ever aspire to get back there but I am certainly not happy here. So please don't hate me, instead help me, please!
2 comments:
I know how you feel... I see pics of myself and hate the extra pounds.
I think you're a beautiful woman. So there. But, I get it.
Good luck with your goals. And I will love seeing you a Blissdom 10 pounds or no 10 pounds.
Be gentle with yourself. There is a reason why each of us is a) here on the planet and b) exactly where we are right now: Don't overthink it, but you know what the reason is when you get still, quiet and meditative...when all the 'outside noise' is turned off - the reason you're here is part of what you're going through. Rather than 'resisting' by 'complaining' about it(which is what alot of us do), embrace what is happening as neither 'good' or 'bad', but 'necessary' and be grateful for the breath you have every moment. Sometimes just a change in latitude can change everything. Best, Sara
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