Happy Birthday to My Little Man!

On August 28th, 2004 {6 years ago} I became a mom and my life changed forever! 

This amazing boy came into my life and has made me who I am today.  I held him for days, never wanting to put him down.  I would stare for hours at him with a smile on my face.  I could sit for hours with him asleep on my chest, I will hold the memory of that forever.  I held you instead of eating, I carried you instead of sleeping, I played with you instead of cleaning.  I would do anything for you.

Happy 6th Birthday Kal, you make me so proud to be your mom.

I love how you don't care what people think, you wear what you want and don't think twice about it.

I love how you use your imagination in everything that you do.

I love how you would rather play with your sister or friends then play video games.

I love how smart you are.

I love how you are always wanting to learn.

I love how you ask questions about everything.

I love how you love your little sister and would do anything for her.

I love how you care for those close to you and are not afraid to show your feelings.

I love how you are creative.

I love how you are different from other kids your age.

I love you because you are you!

"I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be" ~ Robert Munch

Playhouse Disney Canada Giveaway Winners

So the lucky winner of our Playhouse Disney Giveaway is....

Kandice - thanks for your really nice comment!

I wonder if I am to blame

I sit here and look at my life and I wonder...

I wonder why so much has changed.  I wonder what was the cause. I wonder if it is because of me...

When I look back at the last while and when things started to really change for me in my life it was around the same time that something major changed for me.  I became a mom.  Something that is so amazing has also caused so many questions in my life.  Part of all of these questions come from me, I know that, but does it all? That is a question that I don't know the answer to.

I am sure that many in my life (or now not in my life) would say that it is because of me.

I know that my in-laws blame so many of their issues on me.  They blame me as the reason they didn't come spend time with us.  They blame me for the reason why they barely saw their grandkids.  They blame me for being such a horrible hostess.  They blame me for everything. Do you think they ever sat back and looked at the reasons why I wasn't always so perfect?  Do you think they even remember that I suffered from postpartum depression for almost 3 years?  No instead they sit in their house enjoying their life, blaming me as the reason for all of their issues.

So does my mom blame me?  I know I will never be the perfect person that my brother is. I have come to accept that.

I spent years wondering what I had to do for my family to actually look at me like I was something important.  I looked at my life and thought that I had it all together.  I had a husband who loved me no matter what.  I had two beautiful, smart, amazing kids who loved me.  I had a really nice home.  I had a little business that I started many years ago that was successful, and I did that while also raising my amazing kids.

But even with all of this I felt like my family still looked at me like I was a troubled 18 year old little girl... I was never a troubled girl, but they looked at me like I was.  Did they always think that I would amount to nothing?  Do they still?

So I wonder, am I the reason that I barely have a relationship with my mom and when I do it is so dysfunctional?  Am I the reason why I barely ever hear from my only brother?  Am I the reason for all of the hurt that they cause my family?

I don't think I will ever find the answers.

I think that all that I can do is move forward, to break the cycle and create a loving home for my kids.  Where they can grow up and know that I love them no matter what.  That I will support them in any decisions that they make in life.  That I will love who they choose to be with in their life, because I know that they make them happy.

I want my kids to know that I love them, no matter what.  And above all that I will always be here for them.  I will be their biggest supporter in life, and their biggest fan.

That is how I will heal me.

I will also remind myself of all the amazing things I have in my life, my husband and kids.  My friends, some old and some new (you know who you are!), they are some of the most empowering and supportive people I know.  They keep me strong and teach me daily that I am a good person.  And as a good friend reminded me "blood isn't thicker than water".

Getting to know you (or me)

Inspired by Party Mummy's post I decided I needed to do the same.


I am not going to type much extra because my space bar is all messed up on my brand new computer... and if I don'tbeaton it everything comes out likethis...


So please forgive me ;)

“That’s How SHE Blogs”

Here’s what to do:

a) Cut and paste the quiz onto your blog.

b) Delete my answers.

c) Answer the questions.

d) Tweet a few of the bloggers you’d love to get to know better and invite them to play along.

e) In the comment section below, leave a link to your blog where you've answered the quiz quesions.

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1.    Did you attend Blogher10? No (and I am still wishing I did)

2.    Are you attending BlissdomCanada this fall? YES!

3.    When are you at your blogging best – a.m. or p.m.? never... probably in the PM when I write most of my blogs because it is quiet and I can think.

4.    How many blogs do you have? (Include the links)

www.themombehindthedesigns.com

www.graceannouncements.blogspot.com

5.    What technical skill would you like to learn to improve your blog? I have no clue... maybe I need to learn how to not be so scared to move over to Wordpress

6.    Do you prefer the sound of silence or does action abound while you blog?  I love listening to music, if you knew my husband you would know that music is always playing in our house! 

7.    Do you include the names of your family in your blog? Depends... usually the short form

8.    Do you post pictures or videos of your children? Yes

9.    What’s the grossest thing you’ve spilled on your keyboard? I have honestly never spilled anything on my keyboard... how lame am I?!

10.    Ever posted something you wrote while intoxicated? No, I had large amount of time either pregnant or breastfeeding so I was always sober.  Lame again!!!

11.    Do you go back and edit old posts just because you can? Only if it is right after I post.

12.    Have you ever suspected somebody took something you wrote and pawned it off as their own?  No but I have had people steal stuff from my website before...

13.    Does your spouse read your blog? What do they say about it?  Yes he does (and sometimes I wish he didn't so I could complain about him!) and he says I am a great writer. I am sure he won't say that again after reading this!

14.    What’s something cool/positive/unexpected for you, that has resulted directly from blogging? Nothing, and I am okay with that!

15.    Link to a post (or two) which demonstrate your writing style:

Modern work at home mom

Not saying goodbye

16.  Name a blog(s) that makes you exclaim, "Damn! I wish I'd written that!"

Sharon DeVellis: The Inside Scoop

Thanks to Lisa @PartyMummy for getting me to do this!  See you at Blissdom Canada :)

Playhouse Disney Canada - Review & Giveaway

I don't know about your house but in mine all the Playhouse Disney shows are a big hit.  We don't actually get the channel thanks to our Satellite provider, so we rely on knowing the exact times that they run on the Family channel and tuning in then.  My daughter is all about Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but she also loves watching Handy Manny and Imagination Movers with her brother.  When he was young he loved watching Little Einsteins.  Honestly there is no Playhouse Disney programming that my two are not going to watch.


I have even found myself watching some without even having them around.  Yes I have been known to enjoy a little cartoon time now and then!  I remember watching many of these Disney characters as a child, so I enjoy sitting down and watching them with my kids.


Be sure to check out www.playhousedisney.ca where your kids can play games, watch videos and do activites.  You can see the daily schedule, enter contests, check out the parents section for tips about web safety.  Best of all you know that while your kids are enjoying the site they are in a safe environment.

I am excited to be giving away a Playhouse Disney Prize Pack that includes: a DVD with 5 full episodes of Handy Manny, Imagination Movers, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, Special Agent Oso and My Friends Tigger and Pooh, pencils, a magnetic pen and colouring magnets. My kids were so excited to open theirs!

To enter, leave a comment with your child’s favourite Playhouse Disney show.  For an extra entry follow "the mom behind the designs" through Google Friend Connect.

Readers may enter the contests on multiple blogs participating in this Playhouse Disney Canada blog tour but are only eligible to win once.

Giveaway ends August 18 at 11:59pm EST. Open to Canadian residents only. Winner will be selected using Random.org and must reply to the notification email within 3 days or a new winner will be drawn

I am participating in the Playhouse Disney program by Mom Central. I received a Playhouse Disney prize pack and a thank you gift card to facilitate this post. The opinions on this blog are my own.